Today, I celebrated my birthday with my son Dustin and his finance' Krystal. A few days ago Dustin asked me how I felt about carving pumpkins. He did it with some hesitation, knowing we had not carved pumpkins since Shane died. I said sure without hesitation. I guess I wanted to be involved in anything I can in Dustin and Krystals life, even if it is hard. When they showed up with the pumpkins, I entered the room to find Krysal with flowers. She said they are for you, we are going to make a pumpkin vase (centerpiece). I was so touched by that and was eager to see what we came up with as a centerpiece. As we carved pumpkins and a centerpiece, Shane never left my mind. As I dug into the slimy pumpkin, I could see Shane's face as he hated to stick his hand inside the pumpkin. I still found myself having a good time and we made a beautiful centerpiece.
Tonight I realized that Krystal will add a new part to our family and with that new experiences, new memories and new traditions. We will not forget Shane, but somehow it felt like we weren't carving pumpkins without him, but we were experiencing a new way of carving pumpkins with a new family member. I am so grateful that Dustin and Krystal included me today. I feel like I have jumped another hurtle. I look forward to the life I will share with Dustin and Krystal. I love them so very much.
4 years ago