Music of my Heart!

Shane died at the age of 14. When I dream of him he often comes to me at this age. The age where I would hold and cuddle him as a baby.

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Monday, October 27, 2008

A Pumpkin Tradition

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my son Dustin and his finance' Krystal. A few days ago Dustin asked me how I felt about carving pumpkins. He did it with some hesitation, knowing we had not carved pumpkins since Shane died. I said sure without hesitation. I guess I wanted to be involved in anything I can in Dustin and Krystals life, even if it is hard. When they showed up with the pumpkins, I entered the room to find Krysal with flowers. She said they are for you, we are going to make a pumpkin vase (centerpiece). I was so touched by that and was eager to see what we came up with as a centerpiece. As we carved pumpkins and a centerpiece, Shane never left my mind. As I dug into the slimy pumpkin, I could see Shane's face as he hated to stick his hand inside the pumpkin. I still found myself having a good time and we made a beautiful centerpiece.
Tonight I realized that Krystal will add a new part to our family and with that new experiences, new memories and new traditions. We will not forget Shane, but somehow it felt like we weren't carving pumpkins without him, but we were experiencing a new way of carving pumpkins with a new family member. I am so grateful that Dustin and Krystal included me today. I feel like I have jumped another hurtle. I look forward to the life I will share with Dustin and Krystal. I love them so very much.

1 comment:

Bridget said...

I am so glad your birthday carving went well with Dustin and Krystal. I thought about you all day. I can remember how Shane would cring, like he just ate something really sour when he stuck his hand in the slimy pumpkin. Still makes me smile. I can't wait to see your pumpkin center piece.

Listen to In Memory of Shane

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To all who mourn…he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory. …I cannot remain silent. I will not stop praying for her until her righteousness shines like the dawn, and her salvation blazes like a burning torch.” Isaiah 61:1-2a, 3 & 62:1b NLT
“…that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever. The people who walk in darkness will see a great light… For God will break the chains that bind his people…” Isaiah 9:1a, 2a, 4a NLT