Music of my Heart!

Shane died at the age of 14. When I dream of him he often comes to me at this age. The age where I would hold and cuddle him as a baby.

You can visit Shane at
http://www.shaneellis.virtual-memorials.com

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A Shared Loss

Today started with a new client. As with all new clients, there is always the talk of children. How many kids do you have. Seems to be the most common question. I then have to decide how to handle this question. Do I talk about it, or do I not. She wanted to know if I had kids in school. I proceeded to tell her, oh no my son is almost 24. Not meaning to leave Shane out, but not sure if I wanted to go there. As our conversation continued, I decided to tell her I had another son who had passed. Sometimes the response is an uncomfortable feeling, as if you almost wish you hadn't mentioned it. And other times they just continue to talk as if they didn't hear you at all and then you feel even worse. Today I shared my story with her as I held her precious 9 month old daughter in my arms. Her eyes immediately filled with tears. I felt so bad for telling her about losing Shane it was obvious it hit her in a different way than most. I said, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. As she stood there with tears filling her eyes, she shared the loss of her unborn baby just 18 months earlier. This complete stranger stands in front of me, but I felt closer than ever to her as we endured a very deep loss. I had my son 14 years, but she never got to know her sweet baby at all. It was a blessed moment between us as we shared our broken hearts.

1 comment:

Courtney said...

I know we have talked about this situation before. Isn't it so awkward and strange? I, too, find myself talking to someone new and then for one reason or another I need to tell them that my mom has passed. And sometimes I don't even feel like talking about it but whatever I'm talking about won't make sense if I don't explain. You know? Ugh.

Listen to In Memory of Shane


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To all who mourn…he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory. …I cannot remain silent. I will not stop praying for her until her righteousness shines like the dawn, and her salvation blazes like a burning torch.” Isaiah 61:1-2a, 3 & 62:1b NLT
“…that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever. The people who walk in darkness will see a great light… For God will break the chains that bind his people…” Isaiah 9:1a, 2a, 4a NLT