Music of my Heart!

Shane died at the age of 14. When I dream of him he often comes to me at this age. The age where I would hold and cuddle him as a baby.

You can visit Shane at

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Asking Why?

When Shane died, I didn't work for a year. I thought, how could I ever go back to work in my beauty shop. Talking one on one with people was the last thing I wanted to do. Over the years, I believe going back into the beauty shop was what I was suppose to do. I encounter so many people who have touched my life and I hope I have impacted them too even if only in a little way. Today my client, who is truely a genuine spirit, who has been trying to have a baby. She has spent thousands of dollars leading to one dissapointment after another. She shared her months of frustration, dissapointment and her despirate desire to have a baby. She has sores all over her body, her stomach, she reluctantly showed me. Full of bruises where she has to inject herself daily. I have been the lucky one, to be pregnant without even trying, but only to have lost 14 years later. But her, wanting a baby so very badly, and not being able to concieve. It only leaves the lifelong question of why? Why do some people get blessed with a child, only to have to say goodbye to them a few years later. Why do some people want a baby so badly that is consumes them so deeply. I realized each pain in each life although different can cause great confusion. Asking why? Why do some love and loss and some just patiently await to love with all the hope in their heart? I believe this is the last attempt for my client to concieve, so tonight, I pray to you, god to give her what she longs for. To give her what she so desires. Please lord, give her this baby. I don't know of any woman who longs to be a mother more. Please bless her and never leave her during this time.

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Listen to In Memory of Shane

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To all who mourn…he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory. …I cannot remain silent. I will not stop praying for her until her righteousness shines like the dawn, and her salvation blazes like a burning torch.” Isaiah 61:1-2a, 3 & 62:1b NLT
“…that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever. The people who walk in darkness will see a great light… For God will break the chains that bind his people…” Isaiah 9:1a, 2a, 4a NLT