Music of my Heart!

Shane died at the age of 14. When I dream of him he often comes to me at this age. The age where I would hold and cuddle him as a baby.

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Sunday, November 2, 2008

Finding Forgiveness

As Jesus was hanging on the cross, He spoke these words found in Luke 23:34 – “Father, forgive these people, because they don’t know what they are doing.”
They knew they were nailing Jesus to the cross of crucifixion, but they did not understand “what” they were doing. If they had known that this was indeed the Son of God, they may have had second thoughts. .
I struggle daily with forgiveness, Forgiveness of the people who wronged me in my past. When I lost Shane not only was I angry at God, but I became more angry at the ones who had hurt me. I only hope that I can someday follow Jesus' example and pray for them. For now I still hang on to the hurt inside. I expect more from the ones I love as they should completely understand my loss and the hurt that surrounds it. Some move forward with disregard to my pain. The pain of my family. (Forgive them they know not what they do) I feel the unforgiveness in my heart. How can God forgive me when I cannot forgive others? How can I forgive, when I feel they are not worthy? I am only hurting myself, for they don't even know that I hurt. I feel like the pain is eating at me like a cancer. How do I let it go and the continual disregard for my and my familys loss? I can only pray for peace and forgiveness in my heart. I can only pray that the pain I suffer will subside. That I can forgive and let it go as God did. I pray tonight to give me patience and to lighten my anger and frustration. To help me find forgiveness in my heart.

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Listen to In Memory of Shane

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To all who mourn…he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory. …I cannot remain silent. I will not stop praying for her until her righteousness shines like the dawn, and her salvation blazes like a burning torch.” Isaiah 61:1-2a, 3 & 62:1b NLT
“…that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever. The people who walk in darkness will see a great light… For God will break the chains that bind his people…” Isaiah 9:1a, 2a, 4a NLT