Music of my Heart!

Shane died at the age of 14. When I dream of him he often comes to me at this age. The age where I would hold and cuddle him as a baby.

You can visit Shane at

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Everything Happens For a Reason?

I have heard this comment on a regular basis, so I feel I need to disect this quote/comment. Why do people believe that everything happens for a reason? When I think about this "quote" I wonder do they really believe it? If you think about it and break it down, you would have to believe that there is a reason for a hurricane that kills 1,000's of people, did they all deserve to die? Are the survivors of it better because of it? How about that the little girl who was abducted raped an left for dead. Do you really think their family sleeps at night, or that there was a good reason for the way they lost their baby. Or how about the man walking into his workplace, killing all of his coworkers. Does that seem reasonable. I cannot see any of this happening for a reason. Can we be open to the thought that maybe bad things just happen. Jesus died for our sins. OUR SINS! I do believe that God knows when and how each of us will die on this earth. But to believe that he choses the way one dies and choses it for a reason? Our Father who loves us, chose to have people die in such brutal ways? Think about it.
Say you have a person in the hospital who just escaped death. She praises God and believes he left her here because he loves her and was watching over her. In the same hospital a mother dies and leaves her young son. Is she not worthy is gods eyes? What about the small child. Is he not worthy? Because of his mothers loss, will he grow up to do great things in his mothers memory, so that we can say "he does great things because he lost his mother" hensing "Everything happens for a reason"? But what if instead this child turns to a life of drugs and crime. Would we then say "Everything happens for a reason"......This quote is openended. I could go on and on.
If I lost my sweet baby Shane for a reason I am sure waiting to find out what it is. I have not seen alot of positive come out of the loss of a child. I have seen divorce and I have seen suicide. There is nothing I will ever do in my life that would ever change the world as it would have been changed with my Shane in it. I will never be completely be happy again. I will always feel lost and empty without him. So a reason he's gone, well I can't consive it. So does that mean god does not love me?
I leave you with just one thought. Could it be possible that we just live in a sinful world. A world where bad things just happen. God knows they will happen and choses not to stop them, but not for a "reason", I believe he lets life proceed as he left it. A life of sin, bad, good, suffering and unfortunately death. If he did stop all bad things, then why die on the cross, why die for our sins?
So, I believe that the day my sons were in an accident that God knew it was going to happen. Did he stop it? No. But did it "Happen for a Reason"? That is up to you to decide, but for me I would like to believe, God did not make it happen. There was absolutely no reason in the world why Shane had to die, but mostly I would like to believe that God cried with me the day I lost my Shane.
I hope that before you use this quote again that you think about it and be sure you believe it before you say it.

I also recommend the book "Why Bad Things Happen to Good People"

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Listen to In Memory of Shane

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To all who mourn…he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory. …I cannot remain silent. I will not stop praying for her until her righteousness shines like the dawn, and her salvation blazes like a burning torch.” Isaiah 61:1-2a, 3 & 62:1b NLT
“…that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever. The people who walk in darkness will see a great light… For God will break the chains that bind his people…” Isaiah 9:1a, 2a, 4a NLT