Fw:
10 years ago
Friday, November 5, 2010
Missing YOU!
As the holiday approaches, I anticipate the emptiness of you not here. I love you and miss you more than ever. Mommy
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Mothers Day
As the week and month is going by and my schedule is overwelmingly busy, I guess still in my mind I know Mothers Day is approaching. Mothers Day has alway been very difficult and I know most of my family doesn't even give it a second thought. I am a mother a mother of 2. Having one child in heaven makes Mothers Day bittersweet. But I will try to grasp on to my son, Dustin, and love and cherish him as long as I live until the one day when I will have a Mothers Day in heaven too:) I love my sons on this Mothers Day and every day. I am blessed to have Dustin and blessed to have had Shane. Dustin Dwayne Ellis and Shane Ryan Ellis...(((((HUGS)))))
Sunday, April 11, 2010
In A Dream!!
My niece Sasha posted a dream about Shane on her blog. If you are interested in reading it please visit her blog...God Bless you Sasha.
http://sashanaomi.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html
http://sashanaomi.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
My Child Does Live On......
The night the Dr. came into Shane's room and said "We did all we could do" forever changed our lives.
That night the numbers on all of the monitors Shane had connected to him had stayed pretty stable. I had only slept 4 hours in the last 6 days. I thought tonight is the night I will rest. I sat in the very uncomfortable chair that had been in Shane's room and found a position that I thought now I might sleep at least for a little. I looked at all of the monitors, but they fell out of focus. I was so very exhausted that I couldn't see any of the numbers on the moniters at all anymore. I slowly drifted as if there was hope, hope for tomarrow, hope for a recover, hope for Shane's eyes to open, hope for him to say "Mommy".
Shane had survived 6 days since the accident, he was on the journey of recovery, so I thought. He had the front part of his right frontal brain removed and yet I don't think it registered completely what that loss was going to effect. I know he would remember me, anyway, how could he not, We had a such a strong love and connection, there is no possible way he wouldn't remember me, I remember thinking. But I knew the loss of that part of his brain could effect his memory, but I was in denial of that, as I was of most of what had happened that week. As I was dozing off that night I could hear the moniter numbers changing, The sounds were not ordinary and I immediately was able to focus, like I had slept for days even though I never slept at all. That is when the Dr. came in.
That night Alex had went and laid down. I sat there alone in disbelief that the journey of Shane's recovery was ending. I couldn't take this news alone and although Alex was only asleep for a short time I needed him. He needed to know. After I woke him, we sat with Shane and wept. We spent all through the night. Just me, Alex and Shane. Trying to come to some sort of terms with what was happening, as if that is at all possible, weeping at his bedside. Some where through the night in our most intense grief, I looked across Shane's bed at my husband and said "Do you think he could be an organ donor" Part of me couldn't believe I had just said that. Why, I even thought that was beyond me.
The morning had came and that is when we would face the family and have to tell them and my precious other son, Dustin. That we were going to lose our precious son Shane. Later in the day I had pulled Dustin aside and asked him about organ donation. His response was Shane would do anything I would do and I would definately be an organ donor. What giving boys I have. When IOPO approached us, we had already decided that we would donate Shane's organs if we could. They treated us with utmost gentleness. I write this story in honor Donate Life Indiana Day!
Shane donated both kidneys, his liver and heart valves and lives on.
Love Shane's Mom
This story is dedicated to Cindy Parkison - Shanes Liver Recipient - With Utmost Love
That night the numbers on all of the monitors Shane had connected to him had stayed pretty stable. I had only slept 4 hours in the last 6 days. I thought tonight is the night I will rest. I sat in the very uncomfortable chair that had been in Shane's room and found a position that I thought now I might sleep at least for a little. I looked at all of the monitors, but they fell out of focus. I was so very exhausted that I couldn't see any of the numbers on the moniters at all anymore. I slowly drifted as if there was hope, hope for tomarrow, hope for a recover, hope for Shane's eyes to open, hope for him to say "Mommy".
Shane had survived 6 days since the accident, he was on the journey of recovery, so I thought. He had the front part of his right frontal brain removed and yet I don't think it registered completely what that loss was going to effect. I know he would remember me, anyway, how could he not, We had a such a strong love and connection, there is no possible way he wouldn't remember me, I remember thinking. But I knew the loss of that part of his brain could effect his memory, but I was in denial of that, as I was of most of what had happened that week. As I was dozing off that night I could hear the moniter numbers changing, The sounds were not ordinary and I immediately was able to focus, like I had slept for days even though I never slept at all. That is when the Dr. came in.
That night Alex had went and laid down. I sat there alone in disbelief that the journey of Shane's recovery was ending. I couldn't take this news alone and although Alex was only asleep for a short time I needed him. He needed to know. After I woke him, we sat with Shane and wept. We spent all through the night. Just me, Alex and Shane. Trying to come to some sort of terms with what was happening, as if that is at all possible, weeping at his bedside. Some where through the night in our most intense grief, I looked across Shane's bed at my husband and said "Do you think he could be an organ donor" Part of me couldn't believe I had just said that. Why, I even thought that was beyond me.
The morning had came and that is when we would face the family and have to tell them and my precious other son, Dustin. That we were going to lose our precious son Shane. Later in the day I had pulled Dustin aside and asked him about organ donation. His response was Shane would do anything I would do and I would definately be an organ donor. What giving boys I have. When IOPO approached us, we had already decided that we would donate Shane's organs if we could. They treated us with utmost gentleness. I write this story in honor Donate Life Indiana Day!
Shane donated both kidneys, his liver and heart valves and lives on.
Love Shane's Mom
This story is dedicated to Cindy Parkison - Shanes Liver Recipient - With Utmost Love
Monday, October 12, 2009
My Shooting Star
The "northern star", a star so bright in the sky, with a long battle to endure. All the stars in the sky are drawn to it, whether they know it or not. It is the brightest star, with a long suffering to endure. It is so bright it draws all the stars to it, it is strong in the galaxy and all stars are touched by its strength.
Then there is the shooting star, a star with a short battle, it's is still very bright and has a huge amount of strength, but the other stars only see it for a brief moment, but then it disappears.
No matter how long the battle short or long, the star is a star, both bright, beautiful and loved.
Then there is the shooting star, a star with a short battle, it's is still very bright and has a huge amount of strength, but the other stars only see it for a brief moment, but then it disappears.
No matter how long the battle short or long, the star is a star, both bright, beautiful and loved.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Remember You Shane!
John 16:22 "Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."
Scripture given to me today by Nancy Olson, who also lost her son. Thanks Nancy.
Thought this scripture was worth posting.
Scripture given to me today by Nancy Olson, who also lost her son. Thanks Nancy.
Thought this scripture was worth posting.
Monday, August 17, 2009
"God doesn't give us more than we can bear"
During the years I have grieved the loss of my son, I have heard this quote so many times. I remember even saying to that person, define bear, in a sarcastic way. Because I had not taken my life, I was bearing. Because I live what seems to be a normal life to them, I am bearing. Define that I would say. This saying angered and confused me at the same time. If we had a loving God, would he keep giving us sickness, death, and despair to see how much we could bear. To see if we can handle all the trials I was so confused. "God doesn't give us more than we can bear" was like saying to me, "ah can't be that bad."
Did you know that there is no place in the bible that states "God Doesn't give us more than we can bear." Gods word does say this in Cor 10:13 "But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what other's experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptations from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it."
As I see it there is a big difference between trials and temptation. What the scripture says to me is that God is not going to let a temptation come against us that we are unable to bear. When the temptation comes He will also create a way out so it is possible for us to bear it and escape it. This has nothing to do with the trials of life. (We are tempted when we are drawn away from God by our own sinful desires and become enticed by them.)
God does give us more than we can bear at times. Through these times we can draw closer to him so that he can give us strength to get through them. Just my view on this topic.
Did you know that there is no place in the bible that states "God Doesn't give us more than we can bear." Gods word does say this in Cor 10:13 "But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what other's experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptations from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it."
As I see it there is a big difference between trials and temptation. What the scripture says to me is that God is not going to let a temptation come against us that we are unable to bear. When the temptation comes He will also create a way out so it is possible for us to bear it and escape it. This has nothing to do with the trials of life. (We are tempted when we are drawn away from God by our own sinful desires and become enticed by them.)
God does give us more than we can bear at times. Through these times we can draw closer to him so that he can give us strength to get through them. Just my view on this topic.
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