Remember You Shane!

John 16:22 "Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."
Scripture given to me today by Nancy Olson, who also lost her son. Thanks Nancy.
Thought this scripture was worth posting.

"God doesn't give us more than we can bear"

During the years I have grieved the loss of my son, I have heard this quote so many times. I remember even saying to that person, define bear, in a sarcastic way. Because I had not taken my life, I was bearing. Because I live what seems to be a normal life to them, I am bearing. Define that I would say. This saying angered and confused me at the same time. If we had a loving God, would he keep giving us sickness, death, and despair to see how much we could bear. To see if we can handle all the trials I was so confused. "God doesn't give us more than we can bear" was like saying to me, "ah can't be that bad."
Did you know that there is no place in the bible that states "God Doesn't give us more than we can bear." Gods word does say this in Cor 10:13 "But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what other's experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptations from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it."
As I see it there is a big difference between trials and temptation. What the scripture says to me is that God is not going to let a temptation come against us that we are unable to bear. When the temptation comes He will also create a way out so it is possible for us to bear it and escape it. This has nothing to do with the trials of life. (We are tempted when we are drawn away from God by our own sinful desires and become enticed by them.)
God does give us more than we can bear at times. Through these times we can draw closer to him so that he can give us strength to get through them. Just my view on this topic.

Loving you and missing you Shane forever!

Thanks to my special niece Sasha for the polyvore!

Homesick

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times. And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you. But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry, Is how long must I wait to be with you.

I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place. Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now.

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways. The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know. But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same. Cause I'm still here so far away from home. I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place.

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now. In Christ, there are no goodbye. And in Christ, there is no end. So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have.

To see you again. To see you again. And I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place.

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now.

I MISS YOU SHANE.

Mercy Me - Homesick

Until I see you again.....Happy Birthday Baby

It is the night before Shane's 22nd birthday. I have found this year to be one of the hardest. I have tried so hard to adjust to not seeing my son, Dustin on a regular basis after his wedding in April. Now I know he is exactly where he is suppose to be married, happy and with a great girl, but can someone please tell my heart that.

The last couple of months I have cried at the drop of a hat. It seems almost out of control. I somehow think that this empty nest would be alot easier is Shane was here. If Shane was here all the world would be just perfect. Now I rarely see Dustin and Shane is gone forever. Where does my life go from here. Everyone says, well next will be grandbabies, like that will fix everything. Nothing will make Shanes loss any less and someday having grandbabies does not comfort me today.

I remember thinking how would I ever make it a year without Shane and now it has been almost 8. 8 years. How can that be when the pain is so fresh and raw. 8 years. I can barely breathe when it hits my tough. It seems so far away from me. He seems so far away from me.

I wonder if he would still be that caring little boy. Sensitive to everyone and their feelings. Loving and comforting. Would he still be close to me as he was? I can only dream of what that would feel like, but somehow I know he would.

The anticipation of his birthday is generally worse than the day itself. I will try to fill the day doing things for his birthday and in his memory, but as for tonight, I think I will sit here a cry for a while. Until I can be with you again someday Shane, I love you and HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY....

Miss you today and everyday!